1. |
Rise & Fall
03:45
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It's a summer night
I lie awake in the alarm light
My body's a burning building
And I can't stand the fire
I rise up, I fall down
And I don't wanna die in this town
The streets are quiet
My brain's far too loud
The river rushes beneath my feet
The bridge looms through the cloud
I rise up, I look down
If I'm gonna die it won't be in this town
I know you never asked for this
A melodram-apologist
My wounds were never yours to heal
But you reached out and grabbed my wrist
And I'm so glad that you exist
Even when shit gets real
To everything that came before
I am not so afraid anymore
Shadows on the floor
I am not so afraid anymore
Future at the door
I am not so afraid anymore
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2. |
Breaktime Broadsword
03:16
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I never understood why it felt so cool
To be wearing black and fake feeling blue
'Cause we all learned hard lessons from adolescence
We sang 'sticks and stones' to heal broken bones
But the worst pain comes from your own sick guts
Not those short-lived breaks or those shallow cuts
There are scars you wear like badges
There are scars you want to hide
There's a broadsword cutting up your fucking insides
And this song is for the ones who survive
You think about the friends who extended their hands out to you,
The way you feel so ashamed just for causing them to,
The bathroom door that you lock behind you,
Raise your knees to your face, let the dark remind you.
You feel fucked and you probably are fucked.
But I'm here at least, I won't insist on speaking,
I will douse this house in gasoline if you wanna strike your match and burn it clean.
You wanna trade this pain for one more mild,
Like the arm you broke when you were a child,
'Cause the break that really makes you hurt,
Is the one you take on your own at work,
Where your thoughts swell up and your nerves start screaming,
Daily tasks have lost all meaning,
The folks you know seem to come and go but you are not alone.
No, you are not alone.
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3. |
Uncle Rico's Lament
02:22
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It might be a free country
But let's face it, I can't do whatever I want
I wanna go back in time
Play that fourth quarter
I wanna take state
I wanna soak it up in a hot tub with my soulmate
But my van can take me anywhere
Like my dreams can take me anywhere
Do you see those mountains over there?
How much you wanna bet I could throw a football over them?
When I wanna stop the motion
I just imagine that I'm weightless
In the middle of the ocean
Surrounded by tiny little seahorses
But back in '82, oh man the things that I could do
I could throw a pig skin a quarter mile
Disarm the ladies with a smile
Now I'm making 120 bucks a day
But I can't help thinking it would have been different
If coach had let me play
And my momma took a spill on a sand dune ride today
Her coccyx broke just like my heart
When the coach told me I couldn't play
1, 2, 3, 4, I knock on her door
5, 6, 7, 8, "would you like to buy some plates of nylon polymer?"
I drop the box in front of her, 'cause
9, 10, 11, 12, I'm living out my life in hell.
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4. |
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I've got flames to engulf you
And words to confuse you
I've got "sorry, I can't offer more"
You're riding this train to the end of the line
I got off at the station before
There's a page filled with names at the gates of the future
You lead me with hope by the wrist
And your smile's bittersweet
But I'm bound by the feet
I'm ineffable, I'm broken and I don't exist
I was fixed by the sigh of your skin against mine
My eyes fixed on the crease in your shirt
You can't figure shit out if you spend all day staring at people
Without speaking, without running the risk
That you'll someday get hurt
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5. |
Meaningless Molecules
03:45
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The black sheet of night was punctured with starlight
We were messed up but feeling alright
Fantasy will murder me
We're meaningless molecules in the darkness
But yours is a light I wish some day to harness
I am the sea, I'll drown my enemies
But my love is like the sand in your shoe
Shake it out
I'm burning to death, I'm harbouring crushes
Follow the heart attacks, go where the rush is
Kill yourself to spite your mental health
Most nights I feel so Log Lady lonely
Trapped in the Black Lodge, hungry and bony
The pale horse comes but I turn and run
I took this quiz online that said I was in the prime of my life
So how come I feel like a stunted teenager half the time?
And why do I still think it's cool when bands swear in their fucking songs?
I've been living in a treehouse all along
It's meaningless
We're meaningless
I'm meaningless to you
Fuck you
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6. |
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We rose as infants from a sunless sleep
We stood as pylons in the rolling wastes
Words ripe but fruitless
Electric human mush
Dying is all we'll get right
White knuckle moon sat bleeding in orange
Onto a tarmac vein
In the car back, blame it on brain black fire
And surface sicknesss
Out in the neon glimmer of fear
Long simmering deep down into the need-track
Buried in gloss, print, static and voices chattering disembodied
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7. |
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8. |
The Deathtrap Is You
05:43
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In KFC I never see that the popcorn chicken won't fix it
A love decease, talk in Japanese and I swear to god I'll hear it
My skin crawls with all these particles
I wanna fuck you, not read your articles
You think it's all a deathtrap
But the deathtrap is you
Waste your hours whinging
When all this time you knew
Oh Ulysses, it hurts
Oh Ulysses, I'm going through growth spurts
To my gums, to my lungs
my nails, my seams
my glands, my bands
To my crippled little dreams
There's something inside of me
Something magnificent
Ungodly, demonic,
Loathsome and heaven-sent
And I refuse to be drunk
At the wheel of my soul
I'm a Nazcar racer
Not a still-born foal
This way to the holocaust theme park
This way to the private disco
This way to the shattering shark tank
This way to the yellowing snow
This way to the emperor's whore house
The pre-teens always on parade
This way to the door never opened
This way to forever afraid
You think it's all a deathtrap
But the deathtrap is you
Buck up Rogers, you're flying, don't be blue
This way to the Raygun Road
This way to the sun and the shade
This way to the door that was opened
This way to never ever afraid
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9. |
Weary Adventurers
03:14
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Oh Anna you're the heart in the grass
You are the fairy in the glass bottle
Got a collection of the keys to my chest
And I'm losing this boss battle
I'm going back to where I saved it last
I've gotta kill this fucking link to the past
It gets lonely riding this pony
Over Hyrule field by moonlight
I keep hearing that enemy music
But there's nothing real to fight
I'll just go back to where I saved it last
You know that change was never coming fast
On the long walk home last week
I saw flowers by the roadside
A spirit told me you had died
Oh who would even let me know
If you decided again that it was time to go?
I'm dead dreaming, the static on screen
It was blinking with flashes of blue
And that voice in my head when I'm prostrate in bed
Kept on asking "do you wish to continue"?
I'll just go back to where I saved it last
Oh Anna there's a fire in my belly
When I breathe out you are near me
Oh Anna I was slicing through the jelly
Now the bad guys know to fear me
Oh Anna every time I start a quest
I feel my life reduced to zero
Oh Anna come and save me from myself
You know this kingdom needs a hero
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10. |
Empty Set
04:36
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My pronouns are just grammar
And my body's just a vessel
And these days are just a set of zeros and ones
I have to wrestle with
If the act of observation
Changes the thing being observed
Then every eye that sees a different me
Will leave my outlines blurred
I am an empty set
I am an unsure bet
Don't drown me in a pool of lies
Then ask me to apologise
When your shoes get wet
Death permeates the living
And life shapes the way we see the dead
So absolute perfection
Is not so unfair to request
I dare you to try and hate me
As much as I now hate myself
But if you want to be a radical
Try to love yourself instead
And I'll do the same
When the night is cold and starless
We can hold out for the dawn
Not every shot could have been called for me
The day that I was born
Some day I'll get out from this city
And I'll get out from myself
And when the ghosts have left the attic
I'll look hard at what is left
And I'll plant it in the new soil
And I'll feed it to the birds
And I will scatter from that craggy peak
And run like water on the earth
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11. |
Press 'A' to Speak
05:01
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That love in its infancy
Was tangible, intoxicating
And that idiot will be forever lonely
For living in its shadow
Home is where the darkness grows
Home is where you feel alone
Home is where you'll leave someday
Home is where you'll start again
That freak, he says he likes me
But it never goes anywhere
Am I a stupid fling or a song he sings
To make the world believe he has a heart?
Don't you crush on me
Go fucking crush yourself
I'm ineffable, I'm broken and I don't exist.
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12. |
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When I saw you from across the room
I didn’t care about your name
No this ain’t another love affair
You know I don’t want to play the game
Even when I said I liked your band
I didn’t give a second glance
Now my eyes keep on meeting your eyes
and though I’d love to, I can’t look away
I don’t have a chance
I’m not trying to take you home
but don’t want to lose sight of you
Every time I think that I’ll just go
wonder why I even came
I look out and see you standing there
I think to myself, “maybe I’ll get back into the game"
When your band starts to play
you give me a second glance
Now my eyes keep on meeting your eyes
and though I’d love to, I can’t look away
I don’t have a chance
I don’t want to be alone
I don’t want to lose sight of you
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Clarty Cat Records San Sebastián, Spain
DIY record label // Home to Massa Confusa, Skull Puppies, Miss Danby & The What, Sleepwalk & Five Pence Game // Donostia, Spain / Durham, UK
Clarty Cat Records recommends:
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Two Man-Machine
by massa confusa
Electronic post-punk from Ally Morton
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Selected live recordings
by Five Pence Game
Collaborative solo project of Ally Morton
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Where the Heart Is
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